On Becoming a Sub...

In another couple of weeks I'll have been in SL all of four months. To be honest, I did play around in SL about a year ago. I joined, spent a few days exploring, decided the whole thing was boring, complicated, and made no sense, and stopped.

I don't even remember what my old name was from that time, I just forgot about it. But then I began reading articles all over about SL and ways that the community of users was growing, so I came back. I started out again in the rough, not knowing where to go or what to do really.

But I did find some areas that I considered to be fun. Hypno Dolls was then and still is one of my favorite hangouts. If you read my previous post, you know that I'm into hypnosis and submission and that I've given it a lot of thought. The fact is, there are some fascinating tools to be found in SL for hypnosis, and a very active group of those who use those tools to induce others or be induced into hypnosis.

So I spent more and more time at Hypno Dolls and began to think about what it might be like to play either the Domme or the sub role. I did a little bit of each with other part-timers like myself, but either way I was not satisfied.

Second Life can be quite hollow if you do not connect on a personal level with others, and I had not done that yet. When I tried, I often found, not rejection, but just apathy. An attitude of "we do this when we feel like it," rather than a serious desire to explore these roles.

More and more I began to gravitate towards the sub role, but could not find a serious Domme to connect with emotionally or physically. Truth be told, I longed for the emotional connection more than the physical. There was this hunger in me that was very new to me, and I wanted to find a way to satisfy it.

But at least I was connecting with others on some level. I satisfied myself with that and continued to expand my horizons and explores the endless reaches of SL. And I did what I tend to do best, I shopped.

One day, I began shopping for an anatomically correct part for my avatar and stopped by a shop to see the "FireBrand Venus." When I walked into the store, another woman began immediately chatting with me and asking for help to figure out how to get the product.

I won't tell you my real age but please understand that, while I was born at night, I was NOT born last night. My gut told me this person was trying to get me to buy her something. So I just chatted and played ignorant myself. What can I say, I can look stupid if I want.

If she had just asked me to buy her the Venus directly without any games, I probably would have. It was just 400 lindens after all.

But, nope, she was trying to play me, and I don't like being played. Not that way at least.

About five minutes later, however, the store's owner, Vee, appeared. I think she was in the area working and saw us there, so she came to see if she could help us.

As soon as I saw her, I found myself being very attracted to her. Maybe it was her sense of style. Perhaps it was just her presence. She was rather quiet, but still, I just felt her presence.

I won't go into the way Vee handled the scammer. I will say she was perfectly polite and helpful every second of the time the other person was there. But eventually they gave up trying to scam her, and left.

Suddenly I was alone with this woman who I felt so attracted to. We talked and I just wanted to be near her. It was weird, but also quite powerful.

I was hoping that perhaps I had found a Domme who would be interested in me. But when I asked if she was a Domme, she told me she was a sub who belonged to a Domme.

She did, however, invite me back to her place and showed me around. Perhaps she understood that I was a sub seeking a Mistress.

While we were talking, her Mistress showed up and I was introduced. I found myself getting very excited and hopeful. I wanted not only to meet someone who was a serious Domme, but also someone who would be willing to take me into her family. This woman was obviously a Domme. You could see it and feel it.

At one point, Vee kneeled before her Mistress while I stood nearby watching. What should I do? I had no idea!

I wanted to go and kneel before her too; wanted that with every part of me. But I could not assume such a thing. Then Vee's Mistress called me over and told me to join them. So I kneeled down as well and it was thrilling. I loved kneeling down before this Mistress. It felt so good to submit to her.

Vee's Mistress began asking me questions.

She asked me if I was attached to anyone, if I had ever served as a sub before, and several other questions. I did not realize at that time that this Mistress was making sure I was not already owned. True Dommes have a serious code they follow, and unless a sub has been given their freedom, they will not be taken in by another Mistress or Master.

Of course, I had never been taken by anyone before, so Mistress agreed to take me on to train me; first on a preliminary basis. Perhaps later, I was told, she would collar me and take me as her own if I were found to be suitable.

I was so excited. The very fact that Mistress did not simply collar me and say "okay, you're mine now," told me this was a real Domme. Eventually Mistress did Collar me and did take me as her own, and that was a wonderful day for me.

I love the sub lifestlye. While I cannot practice it in real life, in SL, I belong to my Mistress. It is a pleasure to kneel before her, and to tell her I love her, and to just spend time with her. It is not about the physical, for me it is all about the emotional.

And Mistress knows that about me. She knows she does not have to bed me to make me happy. I offered my submission and she accepted it. She has taken the time to understand my needs and my desires, and I love her for that.

But understand this, even if I did not love her, I would still serve my Mistress. I understand this about myself, that I am a sub.

I have no wish to ever be a Domme. I'm not a Domme in training or any such thing. I am a sub now and will be always. And while I'm still learning about sl and the code that I must follow as a sub, I'm very happy to be in this role.

It is funny, because I don't even remember when exactly Mistress collared me. And it does not matter to me. I'm just happy to belong to Mistress, and happy to be sister to Vee.

Submissively yours,

Chels